After the Ides
by Gabs
Summary: Ares' thoughts after The Ides of March


Disclaimer: You know the routine- just borrowing them, didn't make any money off this.

After the Ides 

by Gabs

Ares sat in his chamber on Mt. Olympus. He had watched the whole time as the Romans crucified Xena and Gabrielle. As much as he wanted to, there was nothing he could do to help them. After the whole fiasco with Hope and Dahak, Zeus had put him on strict probation. So Ares could do nothing. He could feel his heart breaking as he watched the only woman he had ever loved take her last breath. Most would guess that he was thinking about Xena. But no- his thoughts were of Gabrielle.

Ares never told anyone, so concerned was he with his image. What kind of impression would that make- the big, bad God of War in love with a bard? Even he had to admit, it seemed pretty ridiculous. But it was true.

Ares remembered the first time they had met. He had not liked Gabrielle. As far as he was concerned, she was an annoying, naïve, little girl. And she was what kept his Xena from returning to him. But in her second year of travel with Xena, Ares began to see Gabrielle in a new light. When he was turned mortal, he saw a fire in her that he had never seen before. And he had to admit, he was starting to like her. Then came the whole thing with the Furies.

After that mess, Ares' obsession with Xena began to diminish, while his interest in Gabrielle was growing. By the time the enchanted scroll incident came about, he had completely lost interest in Xena. But he kept on pressuring her to return to him so he could protect his image. Ares had actually enjoyed his time with Gabrielle when he was made mortal by the scroll. He also developed a new admiration for her; he had forgotten how hard it was to be mortal. Then, Hope had killed Solan. When he saw how full of hate Xena was, his interest in her was renewed. He had thought this side of her was lost forever. But when they had managed to somehow resolve their problems, Ares felt something he was not familiar with- regret. He was sorry for encouraging Xena, and he regretted not trying to stop her when he came to his senses. He didn't know what had come over him.

He stayed away from them for a while, giving them a chance to work out their relationship. The next time he saw them, he made what he considered to be the biggest mistake of his immortal life. He thought he would never have a chance with Gabrielle- she was too good for him. He agreed to "assist" Hope in the creation of a new race. Ares had no feelings for Hope; he didn't care about her at all. There were two reasons that he agreed to it: he knew Dahak could easily kill him if he wanted. And the second reason was the fact that Hope looked exactly like Gabrielle. But that was where the similarities stopped. Ares had spoke the truth when he said, "You are so not like your mother," to Hope. She didn't have the warmth, kindness, or heart of her mother.

When he made the deal with the Fates to cut Xena's lifeline if she killed Hope, he never suspected that Gabrielle would throw herself into the lava pit with Hope. Looking back, Ares knew that he should have guessed it. Gabrielle wouldn't let her best friend and her daughter both die, and there was no way she would let Hope die alone. Ares had not wanted Gabrielle or Xena to die. In fact, he had made that deal hoping that if Gabrielle were to kill Hope herself, it would help her resolve things. As he watched Gabrielle leap into the lava pit, he knew that he had been wrong, and that it was a bad plan.

Ares was, for probably the first time in his life, afraid. He was afraid that the only person he had ever truly loved was lost to him, before he even got to tell her his feelings. Eventually, Ares found out that Gabrielle was alive. As much as he wanted to go talk to her, he decided to back off for a while, realizingg that she would not be too happy to see him after what he had done. But the God of War continued to keep an eye on everything, even what went on in India. Then came what was definitely the worst day of his immortal life.

Zeus would not allow him to help Gabrielle and Xena against the Romans. Ares had been amazed by what he saw Gabrielle do to them. For a while, he had been hopeful that they would get out of there alive. But they didn't. And he was forced to sit and watch as they died, slowly and painfully. It reminded him of Gabrielle's suicide leap into the lava pit, in a way. Only this time, she was gone for good. He had felt it when Gabrielle's spirit left her body. It had taken at least three long, painful days. His only hope was that she would end up where she belonged- in the Elysian Fields.

Even if she didn't, Ares would make sure to visit her often.


End file.
